Thursday, August 18, 2011

Not sure what the title of this blog should be?

Back at it again! Hasn't been that long? Back by popular demand!

I am not sure. My sister asked me about my blog yesterday and I didn't have a clear answer as to why I have not been writing. So here I am today!

So much to tell...So many feeling to share...
I am so happy to be alive.

Have you ever made a promise to a family member, a friend, your husband, your own child or even to yourself and did not keep it. I have, plenty of times...
There is always a good reason why I didn't call, did not attend an event or couldn't take Angelo to the the Mall of America.

The biggest one of all is the one that I have made to Jim, Angelina and Danny almost every day for the last 8 years and it goes like this: "THIS IS IT! Today is the day. No more junk food. No more MacDonalds. This is my plan and I am sticking to it no matter what."

It's a shame when you child discovers a discarded cheeseburger wrap in the car and questions you about it without saying a word. What kind of message am I sending? Promises are just words. No action needed?

Suddenly you come to a point where you can't stand it anymore. You are disgusted with yourself. You are desperate and frustrated... Who would you turn to at the end?

I found the answer.

I woke up early in the morning on July 30th. I went to church. No one was there. It was so quiet and peaceful. I sat on the bench and cried like a little baby. I didn't care if anybody heard me. I talked to God, cried to Jesus, to the Virgin Mary and any Saint that was there to listen. I made a deal, a big one. I asked for help and forgiveness. Without going into details, I decided to stop eating meat (only fish), dairy products, sweets of any kind and drinking alcohol from that moment until I reached my original weight of 120. Ok skeptics, I don't care what you say. I can hear you loud and clear: " Remember now, you are not young anymore, your body changes, blablablabla". It can be done and I will prove it even if it's going to take me years to reach it.

How do I feel today, 2 weeks later...

I feel amazing. I have so much energy. Food is no longer the center of my world. My cravings have stopped. People have already noticed few changes in me, mainly my face. I look healthier and rested. I stopped my happy pills because I don't need them anymore. Between working out and healthy eating, I no longer have mood swings. I am in control...

What keeps me going is my promise to God. I can't disappoint him. But let me also be truthful and reveal few more things that motivate me. I have a small chalkboard in my bathroom. I have written the names of 4 people in Arabic (for obvious reasons) that I would like to stick it to the day I reach my ultimate goal. I also have pictures of cool outfits that I am going to wear and have jotted down the dollar amount that I will be submitting to my husband the day I am going on a shopping spree.

It's amazing what your body can do when you feed it well. Imagine what your brain can do if you do the same thing...
Those past 2 weeks have been amazing. I feel that I can do anything. I hope that this will inspire you to tackle something you have been afraid to face or deal with.
I am excited and I can't wait to continue this journey of living simply and getting rid of everything that is toxic and negative in my life.