Your husband comes first!

Don't raise your eyebrows yet! Let me explain...

Few of my friends are going through a hard time. They are both married and are having difficulties in their marriage. My heart goes out to them. I have been married for 18 years and I can assure you that my husband and I had our share of struggles and disagreements. Have I thought about the D word, have I dreamed about a secret destination where I can start my life over, Nova Scotia to be precise? Absolutely!
But I am still here and I am so glad!

Here is the thing. I would leave my husband if he was abusive, if he was unfaithful, if he stopped loving me, if he was a bad father and role model to my children, if he stopped believing in God and maybe if he was not kind to his mother.

When I first met Jim's mom and dad, I couldn't help but notice the amazing relationship that tied them together and the laughter in that household. My father in law was a wonderful man. I miss him every day...
I remember saying to myself that I am dating a good man. You can tell a lot about a guy by watching his family interact between each other and how he acts around kids. I remember Jim talking so proudly of his nephews and that was such an attractive quality.

I asked my mother in law for her secret and she said: " You husband comes first ". I was shocked, what did she mean by that exactly? She explained it perfectly: " You raise your kids and they are gone, building their own lives and families but who is here to stay after they are gone, your husband ".

Stay with me for a moment... Think about it.
Often times we give all our energy, love and attention to the kids that we are raising and we forget about the man that we married. Our time is so spent on the kids that we have no more energy left for the husband.
Here is my motto again: MODERATION. You need to love and nurture your relationship with your significant other every single day. The kids are ok and they will thank you for it some day. I always say that the best gift a mother can give her child is to love his father and vice-versa.

Another advice was given to me, never say no... You know what I am talking about. Yes, sometimes we don't feel like it or we are tired. But I noticed that if I relax for a moment and let things go, I forget about the stress of the day and let my self enjoy my time with the man I love.

This conclusion came to me after a lot of hard work. I am taking this journey to be a better wife and mother. I want to lose the weight because I want to feel good about myself and I want to stay beautiful for my husband. I want to be a good looking 46 year old, aging gracefully and attractive. It's great to be beautiful on the inside but I think that I have accomplished that. Call me shallow, I want to be pretty on the outside too! There is nothing wrong with that.

Last thought on the subject: beauty is not defined by the size you are wearing. You can be 200 pounds and feel beautiful. Good for you!!!!! I, just don't want to be 200 pounds period. I just want to wear a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt and look good!

To my friends who are suffering right now, you deserve the best in a relationship. You need to be loved, supported and respected. If you have those 3 main ingredients, you will be fine. With a lot of hard work, you can get back what you have. You just need to want it enough!

Love u all.